Jesus and Buddha

I've read, studied, practiced, taught and loved Buddhism since 2005. Everything I've learned is valid and good, it has improved my life beyond anything I ever dreamed of. A Christian friend invited me to go to church with her a year and three months ago and I've been going pretty regularly ever since. I believe in Jesus now. I believe that Jesus came to save the world and he did. I believe in God and the Holy Spirit. On March 14, 2013 I accepted Jesus into my heart. I want to do God's will and dedicate my life to Christ. 

I don't know where my blog will go from here. I've been doing it for so long that I don't want to stop posting to it. I guess it will just take on a different message now. Change is a part of life and I'm grateful for the change in mine. Buddhist thought helped me get to where I am today and it enhances my life. But my heart has changed.

The Challenges of Making Changes, Part 1

I went on the 10 Day Meditation Course at the Southwest Vipassana Mediation Center from September 12-23, 2012 and today is October 7, 2012. I had plans to come back and blog prolifically about my experiences and thoughts but it just hasn't happened that way, and I've been kind of disappointed about it. I haven't understood why I haven't been able to write about it until this morning after I had an unrelated conversation with a friend.

Since I've been home from the course, I've had several blows to my spirit, seemingly one after the other and its knocked me off my game. Before I left, several people told me that I would come back "all serene and spiritual", in a laughing way, and even though I had no idea how I would feel when I got home, feeling all serene and spiritual would not have been objectionable to me...But its been anything but that. The series of spiritual blows that have happened have left me exhausted physically and I've been pretty restless, irritable and discontent, as well. Not what I was hoping for. So I've been wondering why?

I've been looking for a path for my life, just any kind of actual path that lead to somewhere better than where I was. And I've tried many things over the years, a lot of them not helpful and some rather destructive.  In 2006, I started studying and reading about Buddhism and have known that it would be the path I settled on. Everything about it is right for me. But, I'm a procrastinator in the largest sense of the word so here it is 2012 and I'm finally getting serious about it. The 10 Day Course to learn Vipassana Meditation is one of the first big steps I've made towards getting serious.

This morning I have been reflecting and realize that often in my past when I've decided to make real and specific changes in my life, a battle begins. The things that I'm leaving behind in favor of something new suddenly get a really loud voice and start yelling at me. They don't want to be left behind and forgotten, they don't want me to change, they are afraid -- which translates to "change is hard, its easier to stay with whatever is familiar regardless of the cost and if I really do go through with the changes I might actually have to apply myself and feel some discomfort".

And there is another element to making a decision to create real change. The universe steps in to help. But the universe's idea of help doesn't always look or feel like help to me. The universe presents challenges that really makes me have to examine my decision to change and makes me put those decisions into practice right away. To a procrastinator, right away is painful and tiring. I need a nap.

More to follow.

Buddha Graffiti -- to hold the place until I can think about the 10 Day.

I just haven't been able to think since I got back from the 10 Day. I have a lot to say, I just haven't been able to verbalize in spite of really wanting to...lol. 

The 10 Day Vipassana Meditation Course - Day 0

I'm scribbling this out as fast as I can, trying to remember details. Since we couldn't have notebooks and pens, its all depending on my memory...so we'll see how it goes, lol. I'm not going back to edit, so be prepared for errors....

After several months of waiting, the day finally came to drive to the Southwest Vipassana Meditation Center in Kaufman, Texas for my 10 day course. Silence. Seclusion. Two meals a day with some tea and fruit at 5 pm. I don't like tea. I had no idea what to expect and truth be told, I didn't know why I was doing this at all. But I was determined and strangely drawn to the experience. I hoped I brought the right clothes. I've been studying Buddhism off and on since 2006, and I've meditated with several groups around my town, but this was my first real, actual, intensive effort.

(I got all of these images from Google Images.)

I arrived a little frazzled since navigating is not my strong point, even with the advent of GPS. There were already a lot of cars in the parking lot and I could see people walking in with their suitcases and backpacks. I heaved the gigantic suitcase that my friend Karen let me use out of the back seat of the car and followed the signs that said Registration. Outside the door there were shoes and luggage everywhere, so I took off my shoes and pulled my suitcase over towards the wall, out of the way. Inside everyone was talking at once, filling out forms and handing over car keys, wallets, laptops, cell phones, purses and iPads. I got my room assignment and was told to just go there and unpack...there would be dinner later. Men and women were to be totally separated and I was to stay inside the the signs that said "Female Boundary". 

The place was nice. Noble Silence hadn't started yet, but the women were hesitant to talk to each other. Not the usual chatter that goes along with crowd of women. It didn't look like I imagined because the picture on the website was of a strange looking round building, labeled "the pagoda" just sitting out in a field of brown grass with nothing around it. But, there were a lot of nice new brick buildings, close together, with obvious thought given to leaving the natural trees and flow of the land. I instantly bonded with my little room...a small bed, a shelf to put my things and hang my clothes, a lovely tiled bath area. 

That evening, we were served an outstanding meal - vegetarian Tex-Mex food that was delicious. Afterwards everyone assembled outside the Dhamma Hall - the meditation hall - and were directed to the places where we would be sitting and meditating for the coming days. Remember that we were out in the Texas countryside - and the coyotes gave us a wonderful yipping and howling serenade while we waited to go in. 

It was a large, lovely room with white marble walls and a white marble walkway around the perimeter of the room encircling the white carpet where we would sit. The meditation cushions were royal blue, all set out in nice even rows. There was plenty of room for all of the meditators, I think about 100 in all. The teachers sat in typical Buddhist style on a raised platform in a recessed marble space. Their cushions were white.

There were no statues of Buddha or the Taras or anything of the golden splendor you expect to see in a Buddhist temple. The lack of these items made me think of S.N.Goenka's firm statement of -- no dogma, no religion, no conversion, no sectarianism. The only aim was to teach Vipassana meditation to help all beings be happy. We heard that a lot: May All Beings Be Happy. That is the whole point of the whole thing.

As the night progressed, we all vowed to honor Noble Silence. We affirmed that we would, for the whole of the course, follow all Five Precepts: I will not kill anything, I will not steal anything, I will not take any intoxicants, I will remain completely celibate and I will not speak lies. I said it and meant it. It was exciting and I felt like I was a part of something very special and very important. 

We listened to a Dharma Talk from Goenka that was inspiring, informative and often really funny. I liked him right away. I wish he had been there in person, but the excellent audio and visual system in the hall worked fine. There was a large view screen that lowered from the ceiling in the middle of the room and on either side there were large flatscreens mounted on the wall. Goenka lives in India now and his health is failing. 

But on the screen, he was a small, charming man, very brown skinned with grey hair. He had an endearing part in his hair that reminded me of a little boy with his hair combed neatly ready to go to school. But when he spoke that illusion disappeared. He was well spoken, engaging, intelligent and worldly. And he was compassionate and kind...and very passionate about the students working seriously, learning the Vipassana technique and coming out of misery. He knows the path to true liberation and he wants to teach it to as many people possible. 

At 9:00pm, the day ended and I went to my room to sleep...the 4:00am wake up bell would come soon enough. But before I went inside, I took a minute to look up at the Milky Way. I live in the city and hardly ever get to see stars, but out there away from the competing lights, I could see a lot of stars and was happy to see that Orion, The Little Dipper and Cassiopeia were still there. I could see Jupiter when I faced one way and Mars when I faced another - when I looked at Mars I thought about Curiosity, the Mars Rover, up there doing its thing. It was a spectacular moment.

MAY ALL BEINGS BE HAPPY.

Home Again

The 10 Day Vipassana Meditation Course is finished and..I did it! I haven't had time to sort anything out yet. But I do know that it is important and it has changed me. My challenge now is to sit one hour each morning and one hour each evening. I'm so blessed to find I have a fellow meditator right here in my town, we plan to meditate together when we can. And, there is another group of local Vipassana meditators that regularly sit together and they want to include the rest of us newbies. When I get my thoughts together, I want to blog about each day. Here's a few pictures - the entrance to the center and the Dhamma Hall and the Pagoda.

Entrance to the Center

The Dhamma Hall and Pagoda

Me, Happy at the end of Day 10

Leaving Tomorrow for the 10 Day Vipassana Meditation Course

I'm ready as I'm going to be. I was going to meditate every day sitting in a wooden chair so that I would be more ready to sit for long periods of time, but I didn't get that done to the extent I wanted to. I have been meditating, but not in the wooden chair... I did exercise almost daily - I wanted to be more fit and limber going in. I'm feeling calm and I have some anticipation as to what it will be like, but my fears of getting too hungry or sleepy have gone. I worry a little, but not excessively, about my neck and shoulders hurting from so much sitting, but I can deal with that if it comes up. I am happy about the opportunity to learn the Vipassana meditation technique. I believe what I will learn about myself is going to be important. And, I hope that what I learn will benefit others directly or indirectly. I believe that this experience will be a good one. Now for my regular old stuff: Its my inclination to go buy a bunch of clothes, but I'm not going to. I'm getting a few pairs of yoga pants and some soft, muted colored shirts. And some socks. But otherwise, I'm just not going overboard. What a concept. I'm going to the store tonight and packing in the morning. And I'm hitting the road around 1:30pm tomorrow...Wednesday September 12, 2012... I'll report in when I get back.

Paige Bradley's Sculpture "Expansion"

I really wanted to put an image of "Expansion" on my blog, but after I posted it, I thought maybe I should ask the artist's permission...er, after the fact, I know. Anyway, I emailed her and here is the response. Her artwork is featured in the right hand sidebar.


Judy,

Paige is very happy to have her work featured on your blog. Your message is wonderful and she loves sharing her work with like-minded people.

Thank you, Keli


On Sep 8, 2012, at 8:39 PM, Judy Simon wrote:

Dear Paige, I have a blog, Bodhichitta, and I put an image of one of your sculptures, Expansion, on it. That piece of art says everything I want to say with my blogging. I love it and would like to keep it there, but its yours so I need to ask if its okay. If its not okay, tell me and I'll remove it. The URL is:

www.buddhistinspiration.blogspot.com

Judy Simon

Keli Pharaoh
Paige Bradley Fine Art
information@paigebradley.com